This week let's talk about married life. I want to share the story of us. A little background on us- Richard and I have been together for 24 yrs and married for 19 of those. We met when I was 19 almost 20, and he was 22. Two college kids who had a mutual friend. He was in a class with one of my high school besties. We met, I instantly was annoyed by him cause he is a goofball and was what I thought at the time overly friendly. My thinking at the time was he's cute, funny and nice ??...something gotta be wrong with him. You ladies know how we think sometimes. Anyway, we became instant friends- went on a date a week later, and as they say the rest is history. For the next 5 years we we're joined at the hip, together almost everyday and then we got engaged and then married. Almost 2 yrs later we welcomed our 1st baby and almost 7 years later our next one. Now don't think that during all those times marriage was a bed of roses. It was good but it certainly came with growing pains, a lot of praying and a lot of compromising on both of our parts. I had never lived with anyone- I was use to my own space! I didn't like how he cleaned the restroom and he hated that I had to sleep with the TV on--that 1st year was a doozy!! I know I said (in my head, not to him) I can go back home to my mother! LOL. But then I would often refer back to one of my favorite verses --Ecclesiastes 4:12 reads Where one alone may be overcome, two together can resist. A three-ply cord* is not easily broken.
We knew then and even now-that it is God who we keep at the center as our 3rd cord keeping us bound together in love. He is there with us thru every trial and test. We also know that He's the only 3rd person in our marriage--not our parents, friends or family. No matter how those entities can mean well, they often take sides, don't or can't offer good biblical sound advice or they simply make things worst even if trying to make them better.
Another thing we quickly came to realize was that we needed Christian married friends who could keep us accountable, be venting partners and just an un-biased listening ear when/if we needed it. We were apart of a fun Christian married group that got together every few months to travel, pray together or just hang out for movie nights and interesting discussions. We were also very active in the marriage ministry at our church at that time.
All of those things were very helpful for our marriage, kept us focused and growing together. Out of all those activities the best things we did and still do is always make time for each other and remain friends! We still really like each other. I still think he is a goofball, and he still thinks I can be opinionated, AND we still like those things about each other. He doesn't try to change me and I don't change him.
I know in this current generation it's a whole new dating world and can be really really hard to find a true godly mate. But I still believe God has someone out there for everyone.
I also think we find the best ones when we're not even looking.
If I can give any advice to the single -it would be to prepare for the marriage not the wedding. That day is going to be a blur when you compare it to the lifetime you're going to be committing to. While in your singleness seek God, invite Him to work on you and in those areas you know need work or healing. You'll be in a better place to meet and receive the one He has prepared for you. Do the work now! Going into any relationship with un-healed trauma or excess baggage can ruin a blessed thing before it even starts.
To the married I would say- keep God front and center. And if He hasn't been that, then put Him there. Let His words be your guide, include Him in everything, in every plan and your marriage will be much stronger and more stable for it.
Pray together and make plans together.
Pray for your spouse, because no matter how long you've been together there still may be some areas of their heart that they keep guarded and only God knows about. They fight battles sometimes that they may not share right away or be vulnerable with you about. Marriage is a marathon not a sprint. Be in it for the long haul. Fight and argue fair- no hitting below the belt, and when you do argue be just as intentional about making up as you were about the fight or proving your point.
I'll be sharing some more stories about our marriage as we continue with the blog.
Mediate and read the scriptures below and see how you can apply them to your marriage.
Shine bright!
Kee Isadore
Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Hebrews 13:4 - Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
2 Corinthians 6:14 - Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Colossians 3:14 ~ And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Ephesians 5:25 ~ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Proverbs 21:9 - It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
1 Peter 4:8 - Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
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